Avery Billingsworth III Visits Outer Space So You Dont Have To

I have great hope for the art world and I think things are really going to pick up by the time I make it back to New York from my recent trip to space. That’s right folks, if you’ve noticed that I’ve been away for the last week its because ive gone extra terrestrial. In a few short days I will be returning to terra firma but tonight I wanted to write to all of my fans and gloat a little about the view of tonight’s full moon I have from 200 miles up. Low earth orbit really gets you high. And im not fucking around. I just did a zero g back flip in between sentences. Ok, I know what your thinking, bullshit right? Not bullshit my friends. It pays to know people and my good friend Vladimir let me tag along on his 20 million dollar space vacation in exchange for a little free publicity for an art project he is working on back home. Just want to say thanks to Vlad and the whole crew for the smooth ride. I raise my glass of Tang to you sirs. Although I know I should be posting notable moments from this unique opportunity, but I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t feel the urge to rip into a few things I felt were missing from this adventure. Ray Guns. I mean seriously, sexy single girl floatin around up here, surrounded by drunken Russian cosmonauts  - where’s my freaking ray gun. Someone needs to leave a note for the concierge service next time. How am I supposed to play Barbarella without one? And another thing. They make you pee in a vacuum cleaner up here. I mean we can send a man to the moon but we can’t invent a space bidet? Space it turns out is not as civilized as one might have imagined. To be honest with you , beyond the incredible views I feel like ive been living in a Winnebago all week, and not one of those cool Winnebagos you see on cable TV. Im taking about those tin shells that you can see in advertisements from old life magazines in the 60’s. I wonder how you say Winnebago in Russian. Do they have Winnebago’s in Russia? Anyhow, it’s not all bad, they gave me this sick blue onesie with an American flag lapel pin on it and it sleeps great, you know once im velcroed into my adjustable sleep unit. The whole experience has really been quite moving and educational. For example, did you know that the moon is not falling towards the earth and is instead moving about two inches away from our planet every year? I did not know that. Comes as quite a relief actually. Also I found out that there’s lots of really dangerous radiation up here that can cause severe brain damage and there’s lots of really dangerous radiation up here that can cause severe brain damage.

Well friends, Its almost time for my next protein pill and mug of Tang. So before I go I just want to mention that I have never seen a great art exhibition about space. Why is that? Why don’t people make serious art about space? It’s the freaking final frontier for Christ’s sake. If you’ve seen a great show about space let me know… post it on my wall or write me here at the blog. thechelseabeat@gmail.com.  Also, while im up here ripping through low earth orbit at 17,000 mph I just want you to know that I can see your house from up here and I know what your doing so stop it right now. Also I would like to thank Vlad and Jesus for this opportunity and throw a shout out to Moms and Threejay for believing I could get here one day. See you earthlings later ;)

Refreshments: Tang  A++

This is one of my favorite beverages from my childhood. The stuff is out of this world and other awesome puns. Instead of a proper review I wrote apoem about Tang. 

Tang. The instant space drink that astronauts like to drink.

Tang. Puts a smile on your face to drink.

Tang. Its not juice its your fate 

The Chelsea Beat and Free Booze Review tears Chelsea a new one... and leads you to a few exceptions

So obviously if your a person in the know this is the down time for most of Chelsea as collectors, artists and dealers have, for the most part, all split the scene for the beaches of South Hampton or Miami to exercise their bank accounts and generally posture for impressions while catching a few rays and severely damaging their livers. Of course those left behind here in the stink and burn of the city are treated to the summer group shows which are pitched as the opportunity for curators and gallery owners to experiment and throw caution to the wind. That always looks good on paper and in print but as you can see for yourself most spaces end up falling into the trappings of pushing the same concepts year after year or building uneven shows to sell that either leave you wanting more or worse, disappointed. Its that same feeling you get when someone says they are going to meet you with a wonderful surprise and they forget to bring the wonderful surprise.  One of my biggest pet peeves is the “survey” which requires no more creative energy than it takes to fry an egg, pour a glass of water or turn on the radio. I like ideas and I want to see some sophistication. This week’s adventures into the goings on around town left me feeling deflated and fearing for the future. With few exceptions there’s not much out there in Chelsea to salivate over this summer.  Most of the good stuff I’ve already written about so instead of going off on just one I thought this week I would switch it up and give you a little of my twist on a few of the best and the worst that opened last night. Im gonna do my best to focus only on the good things I've seen…

Exhibition Lab @ Foley Gallery & Sasha Wolf Gallery

the Exhibition Lab exhibition
July 15 - August 13
Opening reception for the artists:
Thursday, July 15, 2010 6 - 8 

Artists:

Malu Alverez, Baldomero Fernandez, Peter Hoang, Amy Finkelstein, Matt Licari, Keren Moscovitch, Landon Nordeman, Marcy Robinson, Irina Rozovsky, Matilde Soligno, Jesrey Walz, Kat Westerman, MaryLynne Wrye, Carl Wooley

Refreshments: Keg of PBR

Rating: Best in Town

Gimme Shelter

July 15- August 20 2010

Artists: Zachary Buchner, Kevin Cyr, Matthew de Leon, Jonathan Durham, Jonathan Ehrenberg, Kate Gilmore, Angelina Gualdoni, Eric Heist, Nicholas Johnston, Dimitri Kozyrev, Fawn Krieger, Caitlin Masley, Jaclyn Mednicov, Ryan Sarah Murphy, Lisa Ross, Nicolas Rule, Suzanne Song

Mixed Greens presents the group exhibition Gimme Shelter. While shelter is traditionally defined as a structure that provides protection, these seventeen artists present a more complex, multifaceted understanding of the concept. More specifically, the works in this show investigate the delicate balance of perception: whether a space is inviting or uninhabitable, comforting or crumbling, being constructed or consumed.

Refreshments: Modello in a can 

Rating: Like the gallery says, Mixed Greens. A little of the best and worst of everything you love and hate- B+

PAULA BARR CHELSEA

Line Dreaming, a solo show featuring the work of Paul Fernandez-Carol 

west chelsea arts building

508/526 west 26th street · 9G

New York NY 10001  

Line Dreaming presents exquisite drawings with a surrealistic tone that will enchant the viewer. The finesse of the work reminds us that in the shadow of each great painting, a great drawing is hiding. Jean-Auguste Dominique Ingres said, "Drawing is the honesty of art. To draw does not mean simply to reproduce contours: drawing does not consist merely of line. Drawing is also expression, the inner form, the plane and modeling." PaulaBarr chelsea is proud to present the work of an artist who gives a sound meaning to Ingres' words.

Refreshments: Mulderbosh in glass and plastic

Rating: Art- C+

            Booze A +

The nose of this wine smells like a bunch of freshly cut strawberries and is a perfect summertime refreshment. The wine itself is very well balanced. I found the bite of acidity refreshing. When the rest of NYC is serving up the cheapest swill they can afford you can always capture my attention and illuminate my imagination with a quality beverage like this one. Seriously I was blown away to see this exceptional Rose. Ten thumbs up! 

BIG PICTURE @ PRISKA C. JUSCHKA FINE ART July 8 - Aug 10

Priska C. Juschka Fine

BIG PICTURE

A group exhibition curated by Tom Sanford and Ryan Schneider

July 8 - August 6, 201

Artists include: Kamrooz Aram, Colleen Asper, Paul Brainard, Holly Coulis, Justin Craun, Van Hanos, Daniel Heidkamp, Aaron Johnson, Emily Noelle Lambert, Wes Lang, Liz Markus, Eddie Martinez, Brian Montuori, Lisa Sanditz, Tom Sanford, Ryan Schneider, Michael Williams and Jeremy Williams.

Well I finally felt satisfied with a painting show in Chelsea. And it isn’t because I have friends in the show, which I do. The only piece that threw me was the drum kit by Van Hanos. Not that it is a bad painting- the technique is curious and action packed but I saw it done better by Tomory Dodge at CRG Gallery a few years ago. All and all these artists are pushing their best work and most are at the top of their game. I recommend a visit when there are not a million sweaty bodies to navigate through. Although I usually recommend the openings this show needs some space to really take in the scale. Two artists with top prize- Aaron Johnson’s horrific candy land garden of Eden with possibly the most awesome title I have ever read on a checklist; I dreamed I painted flowers all over your naked body, and in that dream I awoke from dreaming, my eyes opened to see the flowers rot, turning first putrid, then molten, then burst your flesh into flame. Pretty badass my friends pretty badass and the painting was spectacularly rendered. Another Artist in the show Paul Brainard, I’ve been following for some time now and is constantly producing new work that sometimes makes you laugh and other times sticks you in the side with a switchblade. Always technically amazing, I am more familiar with his drawings but in these new paintings he has really let his sense of abstraction go off on a tangent. A wonderful, colorful tangent.

Curated by Tom Sanford and Ryan Schneider as a survey of large scale paintings by new crop of up and comers, most of these artists have been showing around New york for over a decade and its nice to see them all together for a change.  On Monday July 12^th the gallery will be hosting a panel discussion with Kamrooz Aram, Lisa Sanditz, Tom Sanford and Ryan Schneider moderated by art critic and writer David Coggins from 6:30 to 8. Hope to see you all there. You can sit on my lap and feed me gum drops while we learn all about the future of painting in the next decade.

AMERICA DAY!

My fellow Americans, I’ve gotta tell you - on a night like tonight its hard not to feel like a million bucks. Sunshine, check. Fireworks, check. Stunning sunset, check. Moon rise with the best view of the Milky Way in the BK, check. Ah, but there’s something missing and I cant put my finger on it. Well actually I can but your never gonna find out who it is. So Independence Day has landed upon us again. I’m a huge fan of secular holidays like Thanksgiving and the 4^th of July. They make people think about America and dream about what it means to be American. There are not enough people who do that. I am an American citizen born in Amsterdam. I was conceived miraculously and in a blinding   two minute flood of brilliant white light I wholly formed in my mothers womb. I came into this world during her dream of the golden lotus and was delivered by a man with nine fingers. To be honest with you I understand that’s allot to digest but everything that’s happened since then has been firmly grounded in terra firma. I digress. As a former expatriate who returned to America not too long ago, I feel like I have an outsiders perspective and can tell you first hand that this place truly is like no other. I’ve always visualized the maturity of a civilization by conceptualizing it as a single individual at various ages of his life. China, Egypt and Iran are Grandpapas while France, Mexico, Italy and Japan would be just over the hill, lets say late 50’s. America however is a savagely hormonal teenager plowing through his post-pubescent adolescence with pimples and all. There’s obviously room to grow and perhaps we would do best to keep the mistakes we’ve made close to our hearts as we grow old together so that we repeat as few of them as possible. You know throughout the greatness and grandeur of the ancient Egyptian dynasties no person was born a citizen. Citizenship with all of its rewards and responsibilities was something that you had to earn. You needed to learn to respect what it meant to be a citizen and understand the duties of citizenship before you could be initiated into it. If they had woven some of that message into all those Rambo and Rocky movies of the 80’s perhaps our generation would feel more in the spirit of veneration when the 4^th rolls around every year.

So having said all of that – here are a bunch of super American pictures and websites to make ya feel good about it. Also, I’ve included one of my favorite films on youtube so watch the video and be damn happy you live in the country you do. My fellow Americans, I leave the future in your capable hands…Also, if you can keep your hands where I can see them while you read this that would be great,

Thanks!

Avery!

oh! P.S. The ninety-fifth annual Nathan's Hot Dog eating contest was held on July 4, 2010. Three-time defending champion Joey Chestnut successfully defended his title by consuming 54 hot dogs and buns (HDBs) in 10 minutes. Go America.

http://www.palinaspresident.us/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lj3iNxZ8Dww

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_dmPchuXIXQ